In law school, the challenge level always goes up a notch every semester–at least the block can attest to this. We thought we’ve gone through the worst of days. In a way, that is correct: We went through the worst, so far. But instead of backing down, we’d rather use the strength we have gathered from the past years and months to face the next boss levels.
However, this semester, I learned that in order to win the war, sometimes, one has to lose some battles–not on purpose, of course, but one has to recognize personal limits in light of the surrounding circumstances.
A day before the dropping deadline, a professor of ours released our midterm grades. I could not believe my eyes when I found my ID number at the bottom of the page. Is this for real? I asked the secretary if there was any mistake, because you see, I am the last person in our block when arranged alphabetically, so something might have gone wrong with the arrangement of the grades, right? It took me a while to comprehend that this was actually happening. I would not have fretted so much if my score was decent, but this was unfortunately not the case. I failed, and I boy did I fail and fall hard.
At first, I wasn’t so keen on dropping the subject. For the longest time, I was part of the last few in our block who are religiously following the law curriculum–no subjects dropped nor failed. This was a success on its own–all grades 3 and above–lack of high grades be damned. Dropping would mean a change in the schedule (although not to the point that graduation would be delayed), and more importantly, it is a big thing for me. For a person who has never failed nor dropped a subject in her entire academic life, this would make a dent.
What made me consider to finally make The Choice was the thought that I’d rather drop now than actually fail the course later. Call it paranoia or what, but I’d rather have a clean slate and better grade because I’m back with a vengeance. Or something. And there were other reasons, but this was the primary mover.
Because of The Choice I made, I was able to focus on the other subjects, and I also regained extra time to rest. I think it did me well.
The semester is almost officially over–and by that, I mean I am awaiting the release of one last grade. And in a few months’ time, law school will also be over. Yeeeap.